


Giddy up

by zation



Series: The shorties [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Cowboy theme, Dean loves the Wild West, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, International Fanworks Day 2018, M/M, Old Tucson Studios, Wild West factoids, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 02:57:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13695459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zation/pseuds/zation
Summary: Written for the IFD2018 event:What does your favorite character—or your favorite pairing—get fannish over?Or,The one where Dean is totally in love with the Wild West and where Cas is a little shit about the same.





	Giddy up

**Author's Note:**

> Set sometime after 6.18: Frontierland but nothing more specific than that. I had at first thought to make this porny but couldn’t pass up a fic where Cas debunks a lot of Wild West myths (much to Dean’s exasperation) so it got more crack-ish XD  
> All of Cas’ knowledge is taken from Google so I reserve myself for errors, this is supposed to be more fun than educational anyhow lol
> 
> Rated for language and implied sex
> 
> (and thank you, BeeCas, for beta'ing with such a short notice! You're my rock <3)

 

 

 

Dean was practically vibrating from the moment they got through the gates. Fucking _Old Tucson Studios, Arizona_. They were actually here, actually had a day off from hunting and ganking and saving. This day was _Dean’s_ and he was so going to enjoy it.

“Okay, game plan.” He almost rubbed his hands together but managed to restrain himself because that would have looked ridiculous. “We have _a lot_ of ground to cover and I want to start—”

“Let me stop you right there.” Sam was looking like he had a hard time not laughing and Dean couldn’t fathom why. “I get it that we needed a vacation and fair is fair, paper does beat rock, but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with your incessant fangirling.”

“Hey!” Dean did _not_ fangirl. Looking over at Cas he got no help, though, and Sam just grinned at him.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, Dean, just that I’m gonna spend my day at the bar and you can come pick me up when you’re ready for dinner.”

He left without waiting for an answer and fine, Dean didn’t need him anyway.

“Whatever.” He _pfft_ ’d, turning to the angel who was squinting at the throngs of people walking by on the authentic Western street. “Let’s go, we can catch the 11 o’clock gun show before we go on the coach ride and—”

“Why do all the supposed cowboys wear Stetson hats?”

Okay, people needed to stop interrupting Dean stat.

“Because they’re _cowboy hats_.” He practically groaned and started dragging Cas with him in the direction of the gun show. At this rate they were going to get the worst seats.

“No they aren’t.” Cas stated, although he was letting Dean pull him as he wished so that was good. “The original ‘cowboys’ as you refer to them didn’t wear Stetson hats, do you know how unpractical that would have been while riding at high speed?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Dude, you need to stop it with the air quotes. And the hats look cool, okay?”

Cas frowned at him. “Anyone stupid enough to wear a big white target on their head would have found themselves dead rather soon.”

Well yeah, Dean supposed that was true… “Still cool, though.” He sniffed indignantly.

“Actually the first real cowboy hat was called the Boss of the Plains hat and was rounder. And most cowboys who felt a need to wear a hat used a common Bowler hat.”

“Yeah, that’s very fascinating, Cas.” Dean muttered as they joined the line for gun show. The weather was all blue skies and shining sun and not even Cas’ squint-frown would dampen Dean’s mood right now.

 

“I just don’t understand why the show had to include a bank robbery?”

“ _Because_ ,” Dean almost whined as they exited the gun show. Man, Cas had _not shut up_ throughout the whole show. “It was a thing that happened back then and it looked super cool now.”

Cas shook his head. “I assure you, as someone with experience of the ‘Wild’ West, bank robberies were nowhere near as common as you seem to think.”

“Air quotes.” Dean hissed when a woman walking past them giggled at Cas’ expense. “And okay, maybe movies have hyped up the wildness of that era but c’mon, what else are they gonna put in a gun show?”

“How about someone shooting animals to survive? Show off the hunting skills Native Americans showed these cowboys.”

Dean snorted. Shooting animals? Yeah that was bound to go over well with the crowd… “Yeah, right.”

“Why not? Native Americans and cowboys were actually friendlier with each other than you seem to think.”

“Because it’s not cool.” Dean exclaimed exasperatedly and he was starting to think Cas was deliberately trying to get on Dean’s nerves.

“Surviving in the wilderness is not cool?”

Goddamnit and now Cas was looking all fluffy and confused. “It’s not cool to look at people doing it. It’s a _show_ , Cas. It’s supposed to be entertaining.”

“Oh.” Cas looked thoughtful as they walked through the streets.

Dean ignored him and spent the blessed silence _ooh_ ’ing and _aah_ ’ing at everything he saw. Fucking hell, everything looked so _authentic_ and just the thought that Old Tucson Studios was a _studio_ was even cooler. Dean had seen every movie at least a hundred times and almost pissed his pants when he recognized several of the buildings. Fuck he wanted to take pictures but that would be too lame, wouldn’t it?

He was just about to try and sneak his phone out of his pocket when Cas spoke up again.

“I suppose if they wanted entertainment they could always have shown off some camels.”

Dean was confused, for a number of reasons. One being the fact that while they had been walking for well over 30 minutes and had passed several Super Awesome Sights Cas had apparently only been thinking about their previous conversation.

Also, camels?

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Cas nodded, looking like he was satisfied with his own input. “Humans like to look at animals, don’t you? And you would rather do it in a controlled environment, such as a park or a zoo.”

“Yeah no, I’m not arguing that.” Dean mumbled, still thoroughly confused. “But why would a Wild West park have camels?”

It was Cas’ turn to look confused. “I would have thought you being such an enthusiast you would have known that in the mid-19th century about 75 camels were bought from Egypt to be used for army surveys. They were stationed in central Texas to be used as beasts of burden for army encampments there.”

Dean certainly did _not_ know that. “For real?”

Cas looked at Dean as if that was a stupid question and considering who it was that he was talking to it probably was.

“Yes, Dean.” Cas said, painstakingly slow. “And some of them escaped so for a while there were feral camels in the Southern US.”

Dean could practically feel his eyes gloss over. “That’s gotta be bullshit.”

“It’s not.”

“Camels don’t fit with the Wild West theme, Cas.” Dean exclaimed, almost flailing his hands like a moron and more than one passerby looked weirdly at him.

“Well, I suppose not if you don’t want it to be authentic.” Cas said with an uncharacteristic pout.

“Next you’re gonna tell me tumbleweeds weren’t a thing.”

“Actually they originated from a Russian thistle and—”

“Goddamnit!”

 

When they eventually met up with Sam, Dean found his little brother actually _flirting_ with a barmaid and apparently having the time of his life.

“ _Don’t_ ruin the whores, Cas.” Dean said through gritted teeth. “They were ruined enough for me when Sam and I went back to get that Phoenix dust.”

“Prostitution was a very profitable job, you should know.” Cas stated calmly. “Those who engaged in it was usually well-treated and protected. Not to mention rich.”

Well, Dean supposed that was always something.

“Hey.” Sam exclaimed when he saw Dean and Cas approaching. “How’s your day been?”

Dean ordered a beer for himself and the barmaid left with one smoldering look directed at Sam. Dean just sighed deeply and sat down on the bench opposite Sam. Cas floundered for a while but eventually ended up sitting thigh-to-thigh with Dean and looking pleased with that.

“Would’ve been better if I hadn’t had mister know-it-all over there with me.”

Cas looked mildly affronted. “I thought you wanted an _authentic_ experience.”

“I wanted _an_ _experience_ period.” Dean muttered and stole a pretzel from Sam’s plate.

“I’m sorry, I should make this up to you.” Cas really did look contrite all of a sudden and Dean supposed he couldn’t fault the guy for wanting to point out the inaccuracies. The angel had actually seen the Wild West and so had Dean, however briefly, so there was that. But before Dean could say something comforting Cas put a warm hand down on his thigh. “How about this, as soon as we get back to our excessively Western themed decorated hotel room you can ride me like a good little cowboy?” he spoke in a low murmur that carried expertly to Dean’s suddenly very perky dick. “You can even wear a Stetson, any color you want.”

Dean swallowed hard and didn’t even see Sam grin at the two of them.

“That… that would be acceptable, I suppose.”

“Then you better giddy up and buy that hat before the store closes.”

Dean didn’t jog to the hat store per se but he did power-walk.

 

 

 

 


End file.
